Monster
by Sparklefarey16
Summary: The Warblers were so predictable. It was up to Kurt Hummel to shake things up a bit. song!fic - Monster by Lady Gaga; Klaine


_I don't even know omg._

_Something is quite wrong with me._

_At least I'm getting stuff done on my Spring Break lol._

* * *

><p>It was a Friday.<p>

But, it wasn't just any Friday.

Oh no, this Friday was special.

It was a normal Friday for everybody else, except for one Kurt Hummel.

For Kurt Hummel, this Friday meant life or death for him in his new school – Dalton Academy.

He knew it was risky, but he couldn't help it – he had to settle this once and for all.

He walked through the halls with purpose, face stony and hands clutching a portable speaker unit. The last of the day-students were making their exit off of school grounds, and a couple of borders were still straggling behind, talking and laughing – a couple even greeted Kurt, but he ignored them.

Now was not the time for niceties – he was on a mission.

Various texts had been sent that day, to various people. They were vague, cryptic, it might've seemed a little robotic for Kurt, but it got the job done. He even had to enlist a few clueless freshmen into the ruse.

For this was indeed a ruse.

The doors to the senior commons (aka, Warblers' practice room) never seemed so intimidating, but Kurt only paused for a moment, taking a deep breath, and puffing his chest out, looking more confident then he felt. And then he pushed the doors open before he could chicken out.

Everybody was there, a sea of bodies milling around, confused looks adorning their faces as they asked each other what was going on.

Those in on the plot stood their ground, faces indifferent (if not a little frightened). When the door creaked open, all of the Warblers turned to stare at Kurt. Blaine was the first to speak,

"Kurt! I got your text, but-"

The countertenor pushed past him, averting his eyes and making a beeline for the fireplace, placing the speakers atop it.

"Kurt..?"

With a nod to the freshmen, Kurt hit the 'play' button.

Everyone went stock-still when the beat started and all muttering ceased simultaneously.

Walking to the middle of the crowd, he started swaying, mindlessly.

"_Don't call me Gaga_."

He addressed them all, trying not to laugh at the astonished look on David's face and ignoring the slightly outraged one on Wes.

"_I've never seen one like this before…_"

He said idly, gaze crossing paths with many of the Warblers, none of them being able to hold contact for more then a few seconds.

"_Don't look at me like that._"

It was directed towards Wes, who had the decency to look away and seem guilty.

"_You amaze me._"

He found Blaine, pinning him with his shockingly dark marine eyes.

The freshmen started up, stark and male, but rehearsed well enough not to sound _bad_, throwing in background phrases – "_You little monster,_" and "_You amaze me._"

A couple joined Kurt for the, "_He ate my heart, he a-ate my heart. He ate my heart, he a-a-ate my heart out._"

The brunette faded out on the second chorus of it, letting his body move to the beat.

Subconsciously, Kurt found himself nearing Blaine, whose face was unreadable (as usual). Throwing on a sly smile, Kurt through any and all thoughts, (frets, worries, troublesome, _realizations_) and carried out the plan- the show must go on.

"_Look at him._"

Kurt fixed Blaine a pointed stare,

"_Look at me._"

He gestured to himself, mentally cursing about how Blaine's little antics during songs had rubbed off on him.

"_That boy is bad, and honestly…_"

The countertenor drawled, flicking his hand out with a shrug.

"_He's a wolf, in disguise,_"

One of the freshmen kneeled on all fours, throwing his head back with a howl. It was then that the proverbial ice broke. Kurt could see the twitch of life pump through the Dalton boys – feet tapping, head bobbing, even a few were audacious enough to start mouthing along to the lyrics.

"_But I can't stop staring at those evil eyes._"

Again, Kurt stared at Blaine, meeting his amber eyes with such an intensity that it probably took Blaine all his willpower not to step back.

Rounding to the chorus, Kurt nudged a couple boys to try and get them moving.

None prevailed.

"_I asked my girlfriend if she seen you 'round before. She mumbled something while we got down on the floor,_"

Kurt mimicked grinding into somebody, praying the flush on his cheeks looked like physical exertion (and totally _not_ like he was picturing Blaine as his imaginary dance partner.)

"_We might've fucked,_" Kurt enjoyed the sight of the appalled looks adorning some faces at his blantant use of cursing. Some even looked to the door, expecting a teacher to come barging in with their magical rule-breaking senses (because he had to be breaking at least seven different rules right now.)

"_-not really sure, don't quite recall. But something tells me that I've seen him, yeah._"

And then the last thing Kurt expects to happen… happens.

As the freshmen joined in the chorus, so did David. He grinned, nodding towards Kurt and starting up some dance moves that could rival Mike Chang's.

"_That boy is a monster, m-m-m-monster._"

Kurt sang, high-fiving David,

"_He ate my heart,_"

And then Kurt almost forgot to start singing again, because if David joing in was any surprise, it was nothing compared to Wes.

"_I love that girl,_"

He came closer, standing in front of Kurt.

"_He ate my heart,_"

Kurt clutched at his heart, face contorted in fake agony,

"_Wanna talk to her, she's hot as hell._"

And then Wes winked.

And Kurt was pretty sure he'd gone delusional.

"_He licked his lips,_"

The brunette copied the movements, trying on a sultry look,

"_said to me-_"

"_Girl, you look good enough to eat._"

And _oh_, Kurt would not mind becoming a vore story for him. Because inexplicable things happen when Blaine Anderson starts to sing. The moment the unofficial frontman opened his mouth, it was silent approval. The words were barely out of his mouth, and while some of the Warblers their council members lead, uncertainty had still coursed through the air.

Blaine started to dance in rhythm with him – close enough to count eyelashes.

"_Put his arm around me,_"

Blaine's hands snaked around Kurt's waist from behind, still dancing, now actually _grinding_-

"_-said boy, 'get'cha paws right offa me-eeeeee,'_"

And Kurt was grateful for the getaway those words provided because _damn_ if that was any inkling as how Blaine could dance, then the Warblers really needed to get on that.

The same could probably be said for Kurt.

They ran through the common room, Blaine chasing Kurt in a dirtier version of 'Baby It's Cold Outside' kind of way. The countertenor took refuge between Nick and Jeff, intervolving between them as he sang,

"_He ate my heart,_"

Nick grinned, taking Kurt's hands,

"_I love that girl,_"

Kurt giggled, noticing the slightly enraged look on Blaine's face, and played it up a bit more, fluttering his eyelashes,

"_He ate my heart,_"

Jeff appeared, playfully bumping Nick out of the way, while pretending to fix his hair and check his breath,

"_Wanna talk to her, she's hot as hell._"

Flint and Trent picked up the lines as Kurt shimmied back to David, blowing kisses to Nick and Jeff and purposefully ignoring Blaine as he tried to keep up with the councilman's moves.

"_He ate my heart, he ate my heart instead, he's a monster in my bed. He ate my heart, he ate my heart instead, he's a monster in my bed._"

Blaine decided he was fed up with being ignored by a really sexy Kurt and pulled on the sleeve of the brunette's blazer.

"_I wanna- just dance-_"

Kurt rounded on the shorter of them both, jabbing a finger at Blaine's chest.

"_But he took me home instead,_"

"_Uh-oh!_" Kurt clapped a hand over his mouth,

"_There's a monster in my bed,_"

Kurt turned, pressing his back into Blaine,

"_We French kissed on a subway train._"

Slowly, he slid down Blaine's body, reaching a hand up to tangle itself in the standardized Dalton tie.

"_He tore my clothes right off, he ate my heart and then he ate my brain!_"

At the last note, he was on his knees, tilting his head back and locking eyes with Blaine. Twisting himself up, Kurt looked at Blaine again, at his eyes, that had turned a rather hypnotizing shade of cocoa.

When Blaine wrapped an arm around his waist this time, he didn't pull away. Nor did he pull away when calloused fingers grazed his cheek. Licking his lips, Kurt leaned in, Blaine meeting him halfway. It was all too much: the music, the dancing, the _feelings_.

"_That boy, that boy, that boy, that boy, that boy, that boy,_"

When they broke apart, Kurt whispered,

"_That boy is a monster._"

And then it was over as suddenly as it had begun.

Lots of cheering and whistling (and _catcalling_) ensued, Wes whipping his gavel out of who knows where, banging it a couple times for good measure.

"Warbler Kurt, as unexpected and potentially rule-breaking as that was, I think I speak for the council when I say we can overlook it-"

David nodded, a wide grin in place, as did Thad, who was eyeing the arm Blaine had around Kurt.

"-because that may very well be the number we use for Regionals – with you as the soloist."

Kurt's eyes widened, a smile blossoming in his face. He glanced at Blaine, then at the rest of the Warblers, each looking happier then the next.

That's the power of Gaga.


End file.
